


drown it out (like i always do)

by BrokenMachine



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Gen, Good Brother Diego Hargreeves, Good Sister Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Sibling Love, au where they stop the apocalypse before it happens, conveniently forgot grace and pogo exist so lets pretend theyre on a freedom roadtrip, no incest shut up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 06:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18935536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenMachine/pseuds/BrokenMachine
Summary: He thought it would be easier to be angry at Five, blame him for the state he’d got himself into, but as Five lifted his head enough to rest it against his chest, Diego felt nothing but worry.or, Five drinks too much. His family stresses.





	drown it out (like i always do)

Diego answered the call without looking. “Yeah.” He continued cleaning his knives, pressing the speaker button and setting the phone down.

“Yo, Diego,” he glanced down and frowned. It wasn’t a number he had.

“Don’t have your number, bud,” he called, pulling the suit over to himself. He began sheathing the knives into his suit.

“It’s Adam, I pulled your number from the computer,” came the voice and Diego ahhed. “It’s been a while.” Diego hadn’t been back to the police station since Patch died a few months ago. Even thinking of it still sent a heavy pang of hurt through his heart.

“Yeah, it has. How you been doing?”

“Same old, same old.” There was a pause, and the shuffling of papers. Diego frowned at his phone. He opened his mouth to ask why Adam, who he’d never been that close to, was phoning him for a catchup, when he sighed and spoke again, now sounding slightly frustrated. “Look, I’m phonin’ to give you the heads up, man. I found your brother, and he’s pretty fucked up. I’ve got him in a holding cell now.”

Diego’s heart fell. Klaus had relapsed? Earlier today he’d seemed fine—happy, even, hanging off Ben and begging him to go out to the shops. Diego had seen him not even two hours ago in the living room, painting Allison’s nails while she told him about Claire’s recent phone call.

“Aw, shit, man. Is he alright?”

“He’s pretty gone, Diego. Normally I’d be having to write it down, put it on the record and all that, but I know your dad passed away a while ago and it’s your brother, so if you come get him I’ll turn a blind eye.”

Diego swallowed a sigh of frustration, allowing the misconception of their dad to pass. He was disappointed for Klaus, who’d been trying so hard to be sober. Diego knew first hand how hard it was for him, how much it meant to him. He’d helped Klaus through many tough nights over the past month. “Thanks for calling me, man. I’ll come to get him now.”

“Alright, Hargreeves. Be fast, if another officer comes in to the station he’ll raise questions and there’s not much I can really say to save him, y’know.”

Diego frowned. Klaus did dress rather eccentrically but surely it wouldn’t be causing too many problems. “Alright bro, see you soon.”

“Later.” Adam clicked off and Diego grabbed his old black hoodie, pulling it over his head as he kicked open the door, shoving his phone in his back pocket of his jeans. He grabbed a knife from the table beside the door for safety, sliding it into his back pocket as well. He jogged down the stairs, passing Allison who shouted his name.

“Where are you going?”

“To get Klaus,” he called back, stopping in the main hall. She frowned at him from the staircase. “The police station called me—they’ve got him. He’s relapsed.”

Allison took a step down the stairs. “Diego, Klaus is on the sofa.” Diego frowned and looked over, and sure enough Klaus was napping, arm thrown over his face and long legs hanging over the edge.

“But then, who—“ Diego cut himself off, thinking hard. Allison stepped down the stairs, coming over with a concerned look on her face. Ben was with Vanya; he’d heard them laughing together before answering the call, and Luther was sulking in their dad’s old study because him and Diego had clashed that morning.

That leaves— “Five.” Diego sighed. He ran a hand down his face and Allison’s face dawned with understanding. “He’s been—shit.” Groaning, he kicked on the first pair of shoes he saw, Klaus’ sparkly flats. Allison watched with a mix of amusement and pity.

“Do you want me to come?” she asked, setting a calming hand on his arm. Diego chuckled humourlessly, shaking his head.

“It’s alright,” he reassured her, patting her hand. “Just be ready for when we get back.”

Allison nodded, watching him out the door and waving as he got in his car before shutting it. Diego put the car into drive and peeled out of the driveway, not taking much care for traffic rules as he sped down the road. The police station came into view and the breaks screeched as he pulled into the first parking spot he saw.

“Hey, man,” Adam greeted him from his desk, holding out his hand. Diego squeezed it, bringing him forward for a friendly thump on the back. “Good to see you.”

“You too, brother. Is he...?” Diego jerked his head to where he knew the holding cells were.

“Yeah,” Adam nodded. “To be honest, I’m just avoiding the paperwork. Go get your boy, the other guys will be here soon.”

Diego nodded and left, entering the room where the offenders were held. The cells were mainly empty except for a snoozing old guy in one near the door.

Five was slumped against the wall, head resting against his chest. Diego wrapped on the bars and was surprised at no reaction from him. “Five?” he called, irritation rising. Five didn’t move, not even twitching as he rapped louder. “Five.”

When ten more seconds went by without movement Diego slid open the bolt and stepped inside. He made his way over to Five and placed a hand on his shoulder. Five’s head lolled to the side, eyes closed. His cheek brushed Diego’s hand, who sighed in dismay. The sharp smell of alcohol stung his nose and Diego shook him gently. “Hey, Five,” he said, quieter.

Five’s eyes fluttered open and his brow furrowed. Diego lifted his head up to look at him and Five struggled to focus. “Hey, bud,” he said, sounding sadder than he meant to. It was hard not to treat Five like a kid when he looked like this, all vulnerable and little. “You alright?”

“C’n we go home?” Five said, blinking heavily. His words were slow and muddled, like his mouth struggled to say it.

“Yeah, we can,” Diego sat back on his heels, keeping a hand on Five's shoulder and his face. “Can you walk?”

Five’s eyes were half-shut, chin leaning heavier on Diego’s palm. He didn’t seem to register the question.

“Alright,” Diego said, more to himself than anything, and slid his arms under Five’s knees. The sudden movement caused Five’s hand to come up, but then it dropped back down to his side, scraping the floor until Diego stood, dangling limply in the air. “Let’s go.” He thought it would be easier to be angry at Five, blame him for the state he’d got himself into, but as Five lifted his head enough to rest it against his chest, Diego felt nothing but worry.

“There he is,” Adam said as he walked back into the main station, sounding a little awkward. “Normally I wouldn’t have bothered, Diego, but he was fucked up. Didn’t want him hurting himself.”

“Nah, I get it,” Diego nodded, as Five made a weird whining noise. “Where was he?”

“Just by that store two blocks down, y’know the big one?” Five let out a tiny sob and Diego clicked. Delores. “Aw, okay, yeah.”

He exited the police station with a quick goodbye to Adam, who made a joke about the shoes he was wearing. Diego had fake laughed along before making a hasty retreat.

He got some odd looks carrying Five out but luckily the car wasn’t parked far away and he bundled Five into the passenger seat, helping him clip the seatbelt in. Five hardly spoke a word, just a slurred mumble about equations and the apocalypse Diego ignored.

The journey back was quiet, Diego turning the radio down to listen to Five’s breathing in case he got sick. When he glanced over at a red light, Five was staring out of the window, eyes unfocused. Diego recognised that hundred-yard stare, had seen it on Klaus enough to know what it meant.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, shaking Five’s shoulder.

“‘R you mad at me?” Five brought his head around slowly, pitching to the side as Diego turned the corner.

“No, Five, I’m worried,” Diego sighed, turning the corner again into their street. Five didn’t respond. “What made you drink today, huh?”

“Kept seein’ the ‘pocalypse,” he muttered in a show of surprising honesty. Diego didn’t want to interrupt and instead focused on getting the car into the narrow driveway gate. “All your bodies.”

“You should’ve came to one of us,” Diego said, stopping the car. Five shrugged sloppily, hand fumbling sluggishly with the seatbelt. Diego unclipped it for him. “You know we’re here, Five.”

“I’know,” Five hiccuped, swaying a little without the seatbelt holding him up. Diego jogged around and met him on the other side, pulling an arm over his shoulder. Five was like a baby deer, legs wobbling and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. Diego heard the gag in time and moved to the side as Five was sick on the pavement, knees almost buckling.

“It’s alright, bro, I’ve gotcha,” Diego stayed patient, rubbing his back and holding his arm over his shoulders until he was finished. He locked the car behind them and helped Five stumble to the door. It opened before they got there and Allison made a face at Diego, who shrugged, bent over to keep Five’s arm over his shoulders.

“Hey, Five,” Allison put her arm around him as he came in, obviously not expecting him to latch on to her the way he did, arms winding around her waist. She shared a glance with Diego, who shrugged again, and put her hand on the back of his head, the other tightening over his shoulders. “You okay?”

“Allison,” Five mumbled, voice sounding a little constricted. Diego felt a swoop in his stomach at the tears he could hear on the verge of breaking. Allison tightened her arms.

“You’re alright, Five,” she murmured, hugging him tighter. Five swayed on his feet, arms loosening around her waist. “God, you get yourself in some messes, don’t you?”

Five drew back and Diego took his arm, helping him stay upright. Five’s head rolled to the side, eyes shut. Diego had never seen him in this state, so unbelievably vulnerable. He couldn’t believe he’d just been… walking the streets like this. Allison had tears in her eyes.

“‘m…fine,” Five insisted, legs almost giving out. He blinked heavily once or twice, swaying between them as he tried to find his bearings.

“Aw, shit, Five,” Klaus had woken up. He came over, rubbing his eyes. Five tried to focus and offered a smile, but it was sloppy and his eyes rolled up for a few seconds. Klaus pressed his hand down against Five’s cheek, who leaned against it, eyes closing. “What the hell happened?”

“He was in the police station,” Diego said. Five chuckled hazily, getting heavier in his grip. “I got a phone call, my friend had picked him up. He’s lucky I knew them or he could’ve been in real trouble.”

“‘M in trouble,” Five sang quietly, hanging like a limp puppet in their grip.

Klaus tutted sadly, lifting his hand away from Five’s face, who snapped up, eyes unfocused as he tried to stand straight. Diego heard a quiet sigh and glanced to the stairs.

Vanya had reached the bottom of them, Ben behind her with worry in his eyes. Five didn’t seem aware of them, slipping into a doze as they stood in silence. “Did you hear that?” Diego asked, and they nodded together.

Ben came over, pressing a hand firmly down on Five’s shoulder. “Hey, Five. Where do you want to go?”

Five blinked up at him. “Home,” he whispered, face crumpling. “I want to go home.” When he started crying Vanya moved forwards, taking his face in her hands.

“Where are you now, Five?”

“I dunno,” he hiccuped, sounding every bit like their thirteen year old brother they’d lost so long ago. “I dunno.” Diego felt a lump growing in his throat.

“You’re home, Five. We’re all here,” Allison rubbed the arm she was holding. Five shook his head, tripping. Diego tightened his grip to keep him standing.

Klaus stepped forwards. “Can you feel this?” he placed his forehead on Five’s, replacing Vanya’s hands with his own and cupping his face. Five shook his head, and Allison sniffled, wiping away her tears harshly. Klaus pinched his cheeks hard enough to make Five, even in his state, flinch. “What about now?” Five nodded, swallowing unsteadily. He looked almost comical, face pinched between Klaus’s fingers, but Diego had never found anything less funny in his life. “You couldn’t feel this if you weren’t here. You’re home, Fivey.”

The childhood nickname didn’t seem to bother Five, who just cried some more, drunk and unaware of the tears slipping down most of his siblings cheeks. Ben pushed past the others, taking him into his arms, holding him tight. Allison and Diego let his arms ago, where they wrapped around Ben’s neck.

“You did so well, Five,” Ben rubbed his back. “You don’t need to do this anymore. You have us, now.” Vanya stooped over them, a hand on Five’s back.

Diego and the others, recognising the fact those two were the closest to Five, stepped away, leaving them to it.

Diego took the time to wipe the tears from his cheeks he hadn’t realised were falling. Allison was shaking quietly, Klaus hugging her with one arm, his own eyes bright and eyelashes wet.

“We’re gonna take Five up to his room,” Vanya called over after a few minutes. Five was pretty much passed out, leaning against Ben. The others called out goodbyes to Five who didn’t react, hardly moving as Ben scooped him up.

“Put him on his side, Benny,” Klaus called, and Ben glanced over, nodding, the soft look in his eyes that was only ever there for Klaus.

Time passed slowly after that. The sky outside got darker as they sat waiting for the others to come back down. Ben eventually did, rubbing one eye. “Vanya’s gonna sleep with him tonight, in case he’s sick or anything.”

Klaus hummed, shifting over, and Ben joined him, stretching out and resting his head on Klaus’ shoulder. The easiness of the two of them almost made Diego jealous, but the way Klaus’ hands stopped shaking when Ben was near made it okay.

“Where’s Luther?” he asked after a few minutes. Allison shrugged.

“He told me a few hours ago he was going away for a few days to clear his head.”

“Might be good for him,” Klaus said, clicking his knitting needles together. “You never know.” Ben hummed, looking mostly asleep. Klaus rested his head on top of Ben’s, curling up to cuddle into him more.

“Five needs help,” Allison sniffed finally, wiping at the tears already spilling down her cheeks. “This can’t go on.”

“He won’t accept it,” Ben said, something very sad in his tone. “Even upstairs he told us not to tell ‘his family’ because we’d make him feel guilty.”

Klaus groaned. “He could come along with me, see what it’s like to go to therapy; maybe it’s just ‘cause he doesn’t understand what it is.”

“That could be an idea,” Ben nodded, sitting up a little to make eye contact with Diego. “Did he say anything to you in the car?”

“Said he kept seeing the apocalypse,” Diego remembered. Allison sighed, crossing her arms over her stomach and curling her legs up. “Nothing else I could make out.”

“Well, tomorrow, it’s gonna change,” Allison said with an air of finality. She could’ve rumoured them with how fast they all agreed to it, but the gravity of what had happened was catching up to them all. If somebody had seen Five, an enemy or a fan alike had recognised him in that state, they could’ve—anyone could’ve—

“I—I’m gonna go upstairs,” Diego said finally, when nothing else was said, pushing the horrible thoughts from his mind. Allison nodded.

“I will too. Will you bring Vanya water?” she asked, stretching. Klaus and Ben began to make their way upstairs as well, muttering to each other. “Yeah. Night,” he called, getting various goodnights back.

After collecting the water and a few pills for Five in the morning, he headed upstairs himself, turning the corner along towards his room and stopping a few doors down. He knocked and heard a quiet come in. He pushed the door open with his foot, shutting it behind him quietly.

Vanya smiled at him from the bed, a book in her hand and the bedside lamp illuminating the sleeping boy next to her. Diego moved forwards, setting the water down on the table. “I got this for you and here’s painkillers for Five.”

Vanya thanked him. “It’s gonna be a rough one tomorrow,” she murmured, staring at Five and pushing a hand through his hair. Five didn’t stir.

“How was he when you came up?” Diego asked, reluctant to leave. Vanya shrugged, turning over to face him. She wrapped an arm around Five’s waist, who mumbled something, eyes fluttering open for a second.

“Bad,” she said. “I don’t know if it was because of the drink, or-or the PTSD, but he didn’t really know who we were. Ben changed him into pyjamas but he was just…gone.”

“I’ve never seen him this bad before,” Diego sighed, hands on his hips. Vanya shook her head, agreeing with him. “Just…look after him, yeah?”

“Of course,” Vanya said, squeezing Five a little tighter. The passed out boy didn’t even move. Diego offered a quiet goodnight and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

Vanya woke while it was still dark outside, the clock lit up on the desktop table saying 05:47. For a second she didn’t know what had woke her or where she was, but the absence of Five beside her reminded her with a jolt.

Pushing herself out of the bed, she crept to the door. Opening it, she spotted light coming from the bathroom down the hall. As she came closer she heard unmistakable retching sounds.

“Uh, Five?” she called quietly, knocking on the door. When no reply came she pushed it open, spotting him slumped over the toilet. “Hey.”

He waved a hand at her, face buried in his arms. Vanya sighed, coming over and crouching behind him. She placed a hand on his back, rubbing it through the t-shirt Ben had put him in.

“Whass’time,” Five croaked.

“Sixish,” Vanya murmured. Five moaned and his body tensed, gripping the edge of the toilet seat. She leaned back as he was sick again, looking to the ceiling and rubbing his back. When he was done he slumped back down.

“Night or morning.”

“Morning,” she said, a little surprised at how disorientated he was. Five shook his head into his arms, a dry cough shaking his shoulders. Vanya stood up and poured a glass of water, giving it to him. Five took a sip and spat it into the toilet, then drank the rest of it. He closed his eyes, pushing his hair back.

“I can’t remember anything,” he confessed, and Vanya took note of the way his voice was still a little weird, how he tilted a little where he sat.

“That’s okay,” she said, taking his free hand. Five’s palm was dry and hot. “Just go back to bed.”

“Why were you…” Five’s forehead scrunched, eyes still closed like he was in deep thought. “You were in my bed?”

“To make sure you didn’t choke, Five,” Vanya said. “I had to stop you from rolling over in case you were sick,” she added when he stayed quiet, a little irritation in her tone. Five was still too muddled to pick up on it.

Five made a little choking noise and she tensed up, ready to call for Diego or someone, but then he did it again and she realised he was chuckling. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, opening his eyes. A rare, self-deprecating grin crossed his lips. “I fucked up this time, huh.”

“Yeah, you did,” Vanya smiled unwillingly, something in her softening at his smile. “C’mon.”

Five stood on shaky legs, spitting into the toilet one last time. He flushed it and rubbed his eyes, for once not protesting as she took his arm, leading him out of the toilet. He stumbled, groaning a little as she turned him to his room, pushing open the door.

“Are you alright to stay here?” she asked, watching him climb into bed. Five would be okay to leave now he’d thrown everything up. Even so, she paused at the door. Five hesitated, supported on one elbow. He looked pale and so fragile, his hair sticking up in all directions in a way she hadn’t seen since they were kids.

“Will you stay?” he asked finally. It confirmed her theory of him still being a little drunk, (he never would’ve said it sober,) but nonetheless she shut the door and slid in beside him. Five tucked himself into her side, small and warm like a house cat. “Thanks,” he mumbled, and Vanya rubbed his arm, turning to him. His hair brushed the bottom of her chin as he sighed out, warming her collarbone.

“This needs to change, Five,” Vanya said into the still air, and he swallowed audibly. “It was really bad last night. Even  _Diego_ was crying.”

“Why?” Five said after a beat. Vanya frowned and drew back, making eye contact. He looked uncertain, an expression that had never sat right on the sharp angles of his face.

“Because it’s exhausting seeing you do this to yourself,” Vanya said a little too harshly. Five blinked but didn’t say anything. “Because he loves you. We _all_ love you.”

Five shook his head, sliding an arm over her waist as he burrowed back in to her, head pressed against her shoulder. Vanya scratched her hand through his hair, shutting her eyes. It was almost like they were thirteen again, after one of Five’s training sessions that left him weak and exhausted.

“I’m sorry,” his voice shook, but it was strong like the hug she was wrapped in. “You all deserve better than—than me. Today, we’ll—we’ll talk about it. I promise.”

And, well, wasn't that something. Vanya didn’t trust herself to speak and just hugged him tighter, until they both fell asleep to the alarm clock blinking 6:12 in the corner.

**Author's Note:**

> i know there are tons of mistakes n everything and sorry i started this story hating luther so kept him out and by the time i learned the error of my ways (ie. hating him) i was too lazy to go back and put him in
> 
> but yeah: five deserves better i love the hargreeves i have tons of half written stories about them and this is the worst one you're welcome xxx


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